Adrenaline Addict

Many years ago, I was in a fearful situation.  I had a stalker that caused me to look over my shoulder, always.  I had to weigh whether or not it was safe to take my small boys out, or if we should just stay home.  I spent many days, hanging out at friend's houses, places that I knew...he could not find me. I grew accustomed to closing all the blinds and having the TV or radio loud, so my boys could not hear this man yelling outside my door.  He was so crafty at what he did, that he even had the police laughing with him, in front of my house.  I lived in fear.  One of the many people whom I sought counsel from, told me "Sheryl, do not get addicted to the drama."  I thought he was crazy!  Why in the world would I want this kind of drama.  At some point, I realized that he was talking about the adrenaline rush that you get, in fear.  There is a fine line between good adrenaline and the kind that comes from fear.  It feels the same in your body.  Your body can become addicted to it and unconsciously create drama to experience the same rush.  I have been very thankful to this friend for being so blunt with me.  Through the years, I was careful to keep his advice close in my mind and prevent becoming an adrenaline addict.  The other day, something happened that brought back all the fear that I thought was far removed from my mind, my life. The situation was not near as dangerous, but...it did not matter.  My body reacted the same.  I was so shocked to be shaking and reacting the way I was.  I had no idea that my body remembered....fear.  Thinking about this, made me think about all the things that our bodies, must remember.  Certain smells, seasons, sounds, tastes.  Any combination of our senses that throw us back in time, to a wonderful or horrible place.  Each year in the month of August...I will have a day that I feel empty.  It took me awhile, but...I figured out that I was missing my baby that I miscarried in August of  81. Though many years ago, the season is a constant reminder of my loss. This, is just one of many twinges that bring back memories, that makes my body ache, shake or feel completely loved and safe.  Think about it.  Lilacs are about to bloom....what does the smell remind you of?  For me...it's the freedom of running outside without shoes, summer barbeques and stepping in dog poo. OK...we could have lived without THAT memory :)  So, how do we live with all these emotions, all the memories...good and bad?  How do we keep our bodies from acting out our past experiences?  We don't!  To get rid of the bad...we would lose the good.  To stop feeling the horrible, we would never feel elation!  God created us to feel...  to live.  So...we go on, day after day, creating memories, the good, along with the awful and we thank God for the wonderful and learn from the crazy.  Because, we are... alive.

The Big Break!

 From the time that I started this blog, Josh has been joking with me about why he has not been blogged about.  I have teased him by saying that he has to do something that inspires me.  Well, this is NOT...what I had in mind. 
 
Talk about unexpected. I got a call on Monday that Josh hurt his leg at school.  I left my job and went to pick him up.  His leg was a little swollen and already bruising.  He was able to walk on it but, since the school nurse could not say for sure, Richie and I thought it was best to get a x-ray.  Not the easiest thing to do...I found out.  His pediatrician did not have a x-ray machine, so...had to go somewhere else.  Turns out, he broke his leg! Taking out all the tedious, frustrating, but boring details....they sent us to another place the next day and Josh had to have the surgery the next.  So, the poor kid has a broken leg for three days, before they set it.  UGH! 

Josh has handled whole ordeal like a real man.  He did not even cry when he broke it!  That is a big deal for a boy this age.   Now...the funny part.  Josh plays tackle football.  He is a really mean machine, on the field.  After three years of playing, he has never had an injury!  Awesome, but strange when you hear how he broke his leg.  He was doing a cartwheel!  Yes, you heard that right.  This is story that will be told for years.  He will never live this one down. :) And...just in case Shane thinks about teasing Josh about a cartwheel.  I must remind Shane, that he broke his finger playing frisbee! He He He

Follow up, on Girls, Girls, Girls

After posting "Girls, Girls, Girls".  I received a very interesting private response.  I asked if I could post it anonymously because it was so educational.  It gave me another angle to think about and I thought it might do the same for you.  Here is her response:  After reading your blog, I became a little sad...for me! I never had a sister and my Mom was not my best friend...then! My only adult friend while growing up was a Aunt. She took time with me and Saturdays were usually spent at her home after I completed all my chores. I craved her company. She only had boys (3 of them) and so I think it was mutual. But, something I missed out on has kept me from "meshing" with other women all my life...unsure of myself, lack of confidence, lack of acceptance...I felt judged by other women. When my daughter came into my life, I strove to instill confidence and unconditional acceptance and unconditional love, so she wouldn't feel what I've always felt. These important and concrete supports are vital to girls and young women. I've watched you...you are the epitome of wholesome and joyful friendship with women. I admire you and appreciate you for being you.  I guess because I've had such a great mom, sisters and friends...I never gave much thought to why other women find friendships difficult.  This response made me realize, once again how fortunate I am, but also how important it is to be a good Mom, Aunt or mentor.   When I was working with teenagers, through our church, one thing that stood out, was that any teenager that was really sharp, had a great influence in their life.  This usually was not both parents.  In fact, most of the really exceptional kids, came from broken or dysfunctional homes.  But, they had the one great, parent or grandparent etc. One person in their lives... made them extraordinary!   As I thought about the above response, my heart began to break for her.  Just thinking about all the little girls out there. Knowing how deeply they want to look up to women, want a female mentor, but have no one. Makes me want to reach out, even more.  I hope that you feel the same way.  There is nothing more rewarding than being a part of someones life and knowing that your influence has given them a better one!

 

The Unexpected

I've been a little distracted lately.  Sort of...off track.  You see, I'm a planner.  I plan.  It works for me.  I may not finish my to "do list," or other goals I've set, but that's OK...it's MY plan.  

Now, what really bothers me is when MY plan is disturbed!  Why?  I didn't plan for that. :)

I planned a doctor check up because I had a birthday, and thought I better have blood work done, etc.  What I didn't plan on, was that there was an actual reason why I felt weak.  I'm anemic.  I don't think it's a big deal, in fact, it's encouraging.  I mean, if I can clean 6-7 houses a week, not counting mine, plus do everything else that a Mom and wife does...AND be anemic...I'm going to have crazy energy...when they figure this out! 

Doctor's plan: Run tests that will include...the unfamiliar. Run more tests.  Spend my only fun day (designated day off that I try to have frivolous fun) going to hospitals.


(My daughter editing this laughed out loud reading that I try to have frivolous fun....I guess my idea of frivolous fun is a little different than most ;)

Argh! Argh! Ugh!

So, I spent a couple days stewing about how MY plans were being changed.  Then....I said to myself, "buckle up, buttercup," we got a job to do!  I didn't actually talk to myself, but if I did...I would have said that. :)

I decided that if I had to do this horrible thing, then my grandson Avery has to come with me!  Well, actually, I needed a ride and someone to stay with me.  Diana was gracious enough to do this for me.  It was a really awesome distraction.  Diana and I love to talk, and now...we love to ooo and aww over Avery.  So, here's Avery being oh so adorable and distracting me from the doom and gloom that lies ahead.

Last night, I had a discussion with one of my daughters about life. We talked about all the ups and downs and the unexpected.  I want my kids to be prepared for life, for the sorrow and trials that it brings, along with their childlike, loftily dreams of the future. Why?  So it doesn't catch them off guard.  I want them prepared for the toughness, that way it's not a big surprise.  So...it's on their plan, sort of speak.  

Life is not about how easy you can get through it, but...how much you influence the world around you, in the way you respond to it. We can't change the people or situations that come into our lives.  Sometimes the unexpected pays a visit. It won't be in our plan.  What we can do... is respond in a way that honors God and influences the people around us. To respond in a way that influences others to look closer at their own lives and their relationship with God,

So...did I do this...with my "unexpected" situation?  Um...probably not as well as I should have.  But, I'm more prepared for the next time.  It's in my plan. :)

Dog Days

I love a good cliche!  Ask anyone in my family and they will tell you.  Last night I heard a good one..."Every dog has his day".  I couldn't even sleep, because I thought of many scenerios of this cliche.  So...I wrote a blog post about it.  Let me tell you...it was good!

I had a whim of a thought, to look up the origin, just to add a little something to my post.  THAT, is when I realized that I took the cliche wrong!  My whole blog post was not correct!

So...instead of a really quippie blog post, you get this. :)

My sister said I should have called my blog "Life with a blonde".  Ha...maybe she was right.

Girls Girls Girls

When my boys were little, I was divorced and living a single mom's life. This included getting babysitters. I worked nights, so I could be with Shane and Sean most of their awake hours. This limited me to hiring teenagers. I couldn't complain about any of them, but sometimes they allowed the boys to do things that I didn't:  Like watch MTV.

One day I was driving in the car with my two little boys strapped in their car seats. Out of the. Blue, I  heard my two year old, Sean singing "Ghouls, ghouls,ghouls." .... Of course these are not lyrics you could recognize, but the tune was unmistakably Mötley Crüe's song.  "Girl, Girls,Girls." Now if any one of you are familiar with that video, It was full of girls in bikinis. Probably mild, compared to videos today, but disturbing none-the-less.


For the most part... I've been a big fan of girls.  I grew up with 3 sisters and no brothers!  It was a total girls world.  My poor Dad!  My Mom was such a great example to look up to, that it was very easy to idolize her. I wanted to be just like her.  I would watch her, mimic her and listen to her and her friends talk.  That is where I truly learned to love women.  I loved the way they shared their lives with each other, the way they learned and taught each other.  I watched them encourage, support and physically help each other.  I knew, beyond any doubt...I was glad that I was a girl!


Being a teenager in the 70's left no doubt in my mind that the women's movement was very popular.  So much so, that I got made fun of for wanting to be a wife and mom.  Well, to be honest with you...I didn't give as much thought into being a wife...but...I couldn't wait to be a mom. he he he.  I got married, thinking that I was going to have the "Leave it to Beaver" home...like my mom.  I wanted ALL of it.  I soon realized that my first husband was not  "Ward Cleaver", and the world around me, was not the world of my mother's.  


When I did finally have my first baby.  I became a stay at home, Mom! Yay! THAT is when I realized how much things had changed.  Very few women were home with their children; most had full-time jobs and had become very busy and tired!  I do believe that things have gone back a little now and that there are more stay-at-home, moms now, than in the early 80's, but...still nothing like my mom's early motherhood years. I felt very much alone in the world. 


So...do we women just live without the camaraderie of other women?  Do, we just sit and watch our daughters grow and live without the the encouragement of other women?  I hope not!  We women...learn best...from other women.  We need each other to reach our full potential!  We need each other to feel normal, beautiful and appreciated.  The list could go on and on, but...I think you get the picture. Fortunately for me, a couple of older women reached out to me, took me under their wings and helped fill the gap.


In my first marriage, we moved a lot, so each new place, brought new women, new friends to acquire. Most of us, working an outside job or not, are very busy, but...the time and attention you put into your girlfriends will be time that pays you back...many times over.  Reach out to women around you.  Ones you can teach, ones that will teach you.  Teach your daughters the importance of being surrounded by other women, old, as well as their peers.  Let's not be like most women in our society, criticizing and tearing each other down.  Let's be true comrades, lifting and encouraging each other as we go through the complexity of womanhood! 


"Thank You!" to all the women in my life, young, old and in-between!  Thanks for letting me listen, talk, cry, hug, and pray with you!  You all have had a part in making me the women that I am today.


Special thanks:  Mom, thanks for teaching me to embrace women, and not to just compete with them.  
To my sisters, who had a big part in making me.  Without a Jeanie, Debi and Lynn...how could there be a Sheryl?  Thank you, Mary Lou Beatty, for helping me remember who I was, and Pam McCord for helping me to accept that person.  The Lady who lived across the street from me in Springfield, who gave me a refuge.  My lovely Aunts, and my Mom's friends, who might not have even realized that I was listening to their conversations. :) The Lady who left a rose on my doorstep, when...I thought no one cared! To school teachers and Sunday school teachers! All my best friends through the years. So many, I can't mention all of them, but...thank you all for having a part in molding me. I am grateful.


Now it's your turn....who has made an impact on your life?