OK, so...I'm not a young mother, nor a new mother. The following blog is a post from my daughter in law. First off, I want to say that I LOVE Diana! She has been a real answer to prayer. She loves Shane, my son and is a great mother to my first grandson. She, like many new moms, doesn't have all the answers. But, Diana, unlike most young moms, is wise enough to ask for advice! I asked her permission to repost this, because I thought that my blog might reach a different group of people and have different wisdom to share. Enjoy!
Note on Motherhood
As a mom I am bombarded by advice, condescension, encouragement, negativity and agendas constantly, by so many moms and dads around me. As a rule I am one of those people who is constantly positive and even sometimes to a fault so I usually just dilly dally in my happy mommy world. When I get discouraged or need advice I go to my few mommy friends that I trust and who have perspective. You know, I am so positive it is not even easy for me to admit that I do get discouraged sometimes. How sad is that?
We all know that everyone needs help and I HATE asking for it. In my hope to develop as a person this is one thing I have to work on. Lets not kid ourselves, despite how amazing motherhood is and how much I am LOVING it I do have a few times when I need answers and help. So I’m turning to you, my dearest dear readers for help. Please be kind in your answers!
1. My son seems to be getting more and more hungry but he’s only five months and one week old…..when do I start food? I don’t want to start him on rice cereal since it has no protein, no fats and turns into sugar which means I want to start with another food but don’t want to smack him over the head with flavor. What to start with?
2. I am MAJORLY struggling with my body image. I don’t know why but I just feel like things should be different. I have the EXACT same body I had before having a baby, plus a few stretch marks, but for some reason I really think that with nursing and not being screwed up on the ‘pill’ hormones I should be back at my healthy weight……which is less than I am now. Ever since I was on the pill my weight went higher and higher and now I’m not on the pill, I’m nursing and it should be going back to what it was before. I lost my pregnancy weight in two days, I mean, how hard can it be? Could someone please give me advice? I need help! Do you think I still have a hormone imbalance? Do I need to be taking some supplement?
3. My third question involves the baby monitor. When do you get rid of the darned thing? I am tied to it. Sometimes I think I get up to check on him when he makes only a whimper and doesn’t really need anything. Is this an all or nothing situation? I don’t know. Right now Avery is starting to become quite attached to night feedings (once or twice sometimes) since he’s gotten hungrier. I just don’t know what to do. When does the monitor become obsolete?
4. Discipline. This is a touchy subject I know, but there are some times when my son makes a little bit of a scene when he doesn’t really like a situation. He gets an attitude and I just trying to firmly tell him to stop and demonstrate what I don’t want him to do. Like if he’s fussing I put my finger on his mouth like I would put on my mouth to do the ‘shush’ motion. He understands that pretty well and now he’s getting very wriggly and grabbing at things. I need to know when it’s okay to make sure he understands that some things are off limits. A flick? Saying no? I just don’t have any experience in this area.
5. Okay, this last question is sort of gross but what do you do with dog toys when the baby starts moving more often? As of right now I lay a blanket down for Avery and when he wriggles off the blanket I put him back on it and safely away from the dogs toys but I know there will come a day when he’s more mobile and I don’t want him to get a hold of those nasty toys! The dog simply cannot live without her toys though so getting rid of them is out of the question. Do I segregate? Ack.
So those are my questions for now, there you have it. I’m trying to be a more open, honest and relational person and hope that this will bring on some growth and to be honest, just letting that out makes me feel better already.
I’ve never been happier than I am now, I have never enjoyed life more and just to have questions like this instead of big ones like “what do I do with my life?” and “should I finish college?” is encouraging. I feel like in the bigger picture things are ideal but it’s all the small details that I am settling down to that really snag me now. I live with the most amazing and supportive husband, I have the worlds cutest and happiest baby and I am in a position to pursue all my favorite pass times from gardening to sewing. What more can a girl ask for?
Aside from winning the lottery? Not much.
So if you could give me any bits of advice I’d much appreciate it!
The following is my response.
You know that I'm always here for you, for advice or mostly encouragement. Life is a struggle for all of us, but...with each new phase of life...it can be frustrating.
You're doing a great job, as a mother! And, even impress me more, by asking for advice. That is a sign of wisdom. :)
I'm not a new mother, so...my ways are old, but, here are some thoughts.
1. Sounds like Avery does need something more substantial to hold him through the night. Have you asked your pediatrician? I believe that reason that most people start with the baby cereals, is because they are mild and won't be hard to digest or bother any unknown allergy. Although there isn't any protein, he will still get that, from your milk.
2. Body Image...ugh! That's an on going issue with most of us women! Our society is cruel, showing us perfect women as a standard and most of them are teenagers. ha! My advice, goes to me, as well...be the best you can be! Be the best Diana. Eat healthy, exercise and most of all....spend lots of time with God! Also, realize, that you have had a baby, your body will change, learn to love what you have. Someday, you will look back and say..."wow....I was skinny!" he he he
3. Not sure about the baby monitor. I did the same thing when I was babysitting him. The monitor made me nervous, but...I liked knowing that I could hear him and know if something was wrong.
4. Discipline: For the most part, I wanted to know for sure that the child understood. Otherwise, it wasn't training. My mom told me that she first swatted us kids when we would try and roll over, when she was changing our diaper. So, it seemed like a good place to start with my kids. Just a small swat and a stern NO. This was usually around 6 months. The main thing is not that you are trying to make your life easier, but...that...they need to start learning the word NO.
5.Dog toys: I would put all the toys up and only bring them out when the baby is napping or after Avery goes to sleep for the night. Lady will get use to that and even get more excited when it is "play time".
Well...that's my two cents, hope it helps! Like I said, earlier...you're a great Mom! Hang in there. Love you, baby!Edit10:27 am
Please add any and all advise. Every mother
and father has learned a thing or two and none
of us, have it all figured out. At least not until
we are grandparents. ;) Isn't my grandson gorgeous!
