My Hands

My hands show my age.


My hands show all the dishes that I've washed, all the bathrooms I've cleaned. 


My hands have planted flowers and dug vegetable gardens.


My hands have built bedrooms and bathrooms. Dry walled and tiled, plumbing and electrical.


My hand held my Mom's hand, while sitting in church.


Holding my Dad's while praying.


My hands held the hand of my miscarried baby and the hand of my grandma who was soon to die.


They've sewn wedding dresses and baby clothes.


My hands have held the hands of my newborn babies.


Wiped their noses, faces, chins and butts; all the while trying to hold on to them, forever.


My hands have played the piano and turned the pages for my kids.


My hands have held little hands as we crossed a street together.


My hands have wiped away tears and soothed a child who was hurt or ill.

They have comforted a husband who was under stress.


My hands have touched the face of my first Grandson.


And the face of my husband who is now a Grandpa. 


My hands show all these and many more. 


Age, time, work, love and joy.  


All in my life, all on my hands.

Scars

Pain that doesn't dictate your participation, but summons you.

You decide whether to feel the pain or abstain.

A story you tell, another person's life...if you want it to be.

We are not captive to our emotional scars.  In contrast, they are captive to us.

We use them to learn, teach and remind ourselves.

They are one of many experiences in life that make us the person we are.

We either use them for good, or let them destroy us.

How to leave a comment

Several of my readers have mentioned that they are having trouble leaving a comment on my blog.  Part of the problem might be because they do not have a Google account like I do.  I'm such a big fan of Google, that I never thought about someone not having an account. Ha!  So, I changed my settings to include anonymous accounts. Which means that you can click on that, if you want anonymity or just don't want to go through another account.  I also am including a little YouTube video that goes through the steps of leaving a comment on Blogger.  Hope this helps!  Enjoy!

Tell me how to do it!!!

PS: you must click on the green "tell me how to do it", to go to the video.

Also:  You don't have to go to the blog that they mention in the beginning, you can try it out on this blog. :)

Much Afraid

Ugh...It's been so long since I wrote anything.  My daughter Ashley, told me that she was disappointed in me. Ha!  I think she thought it would motivate me to get back in the saddle and write something.  I guess she was right cuz, here I am. :) I have so many thoughts but I either analyze them to death or I get intimidated by their intimacy.  It's very difficult for me, a private person to share publicly.  What am I afraid of: Criticism, boring people, influencing others wrongly, losing respect etc.  The negative thoughts that haunt a perfectionist and cripple me from doing or saying many things in my life.  I'm not necessarily the "throw caution to the wind" kind of person.  Caution is my middle name! That being said, this blog is an experiment in stretching.  Forcing me to come out of my comfort zone.  And sometimes, I avoid my blog because I am too comfortable keeping all my thoughts to myself.  My own little world, a safe place.  Is this a bad thing?  I don't know, but as long as there are people who want to read my blog, I will keep trying. I am 50 years old and yet, I'm still not who I want to be.  There are lyrics to a song from Sister Hazel that says "The paint on me is beginning to dry and It's not who I wanted to be".  Years go by and some old bad habits remain, some new good habits remain un-rooted.  Why is it so hard to change?  Why do I care? Sometimes I look at other people and they seem to be at peace with giving up.  They no longer try to improve themselves.  And sometimes, I envy them, but, I can't.  I cannot stop trying, working, challenging myself. So, how do you find peace, striving to be better, but accepting yourself as you are? For me?  I stopped trying to be other people.  To have all the energy as my Mom, be as skinny as a teenager, or be as spiritual as someone else.  I just stopped!  I am Sheryl.  This is who God created and loves.  My obligation is only to be the best Sheryl, that I can me.  I will never be my mom, or be that skinny, but am I being my best? Yes, I have my awful days and I'm the very worst Sheryl possible.  And then...there are the goods days.  Thankful for those days! So, in the future, I will strive to blog more, share more and let you into my head.  The good, the bad and the ugly.  (ouch...this is scaring me to death)  Maybe not all the ugly.  ;) What are you afraid, what scares you?  Please share, so I don't feel alone.